Monday, February 29, 2016

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.

It has been brought to my attention that what I write on here is reminiscent of a teenager's emotional ramblings. 
My response to that?
Yeah, it's true. I won't deny it.

But not this time!
Happy things, yay!

My life has changed so much since the last post. Hell, I don't even know where to start.
Eh, I'll start with something boring and then get to the best part

My family now knows that I am agnostic and have no desire to go to church anymore. They haven't quite understood yet. They still think that I think I need to be in church. When I told them that I really wasn't sure about the whole existence of a God thing, their response was "Do you read the Bible and pray every day? No? Well, there's your problem!!" 
No, my problem is that I used to do that. You know what happened?
Nothing.
Nada.
Emptiness. 
I never felt true peace or happiness when claiming to be Christian. I only did it to avoid confrontation. I was living a lie to save my own hide. Not anymore though. Do you know how refreshing it is to actually have a choice? Or be able to finally say "No thank you" when almost being ordered to go? Yes, it's driven a bit of a rift between me and my parents, but it's helping me be more independent, more free to think for myself and make my own decisions. All I need is this dang license, a job, and a place to stay and I'll actually finally have a life of my own. A life where I can pursue happiness away from stuffy old hymns and traditions that don't make sense. Let me tell you something. My mom looked me straight in the face and told me that I should wear makeup to church so that I can fully worship god. OH PLEASE. I had such a hard time not busting out laughing at that bunch of bull! I'm surprised she didn't tell me to start wearing my formal dresses and have my hair professionally styled before each service. Can you imagine how weird I would be if I actually believed her on that?
"Oh yes! I wear makeup to please God!"
*Shudders violently* 
I can summarize the whole ordeal in one simple word: UGH

Next: Driving
I'm actually a pretty decent driver. I'm pretty sure I could pass the driver's test when I take it. The instructors were impressed with how well I picked up on maneuverability. I'm gonna drive everywhere, even to Canada ;)

And now for the best.
I have the most wonderful, most amazing partner. He has made me so so so happy I can't even explain. We have something meaningful, and I know that this will work. I want nothing more right now than to be by his side, making stupid jokes and watching Whose Line and just enjoying the simple things in life. Unfortunately, there's a bit of a distance/international border issue. I suppose I should be thankful that we're not an ocean apart, but still...waiting just to see each other in person for the first time is awful...but I know it will be something that I will always remember. You can never forget something this wonderful. Of course, this is all new and exciting for me. It's almost surreal. I thought I'd never find someone with the same spirit. Someone who could like me for my quirkiness and random stupid stuff. I know he'll read this haha! My dear, you are my rock. You have changed my life so much for the better. Words cannot describe how much I like you and how amazing I think you are. You deserve all the best that life can give, and I can only hope to make you as happy as you make me (and more). I see so very much in you that I've been looking for. I wouldn't change one thing about you (except for your location right now). 

My life is definitely looking up, and I look forward to seeing what the future holds.

I was gonna say "how high life will take me" but that's not...no. Drugs are bad, kids.
But life is beautiful.


P.S. Oh baby