Friday, November 27, 2015

The only thing complaining does is to convince other people you are not in control and that you let less than positive circumstances control your mood and outlook.

I feel like the last few years of posts have just been me complaining about stuff (especially my outburst that was the entirety of the last post). I don't want people to see me as someone who does nothing but look at circumstances and only focus on negative things. I never intended my "dumb blog thing" to just be me venting and airing out my disappointments.
I have so much to be thankful for in the life that I have.
I don't have to be afraid of living at home. My family doesn't beat me. There are many people who still live with their parents and are still looking for a job they won't be miserable in. I don't have to pay rent, just help with the upkeep of the house.
I don't have to live completely alone. I have friends and acquaintances online who help me laugh and broaden my mind. If I'm feeling lonely, all I have to do is ask for help and chances are someone will be there. 
I have a cat who will (sometimes) sit on my lap and be silly. 
Sure, I'm single but it's better than being in a relationship that's going nowhere. I'm not obligated to divide my attention. Not to be mean, but I've seen some pretty weird people get into relationships so I know that there's still hope for me.
(...did I just say I was weird? I didn't mean it that way! I don't think I'm weird, I just worry too much about coming across as super weird) 
I don't live in a place where I have to be afraid of the government or terrorism or bears. 
I have a functioning mind and body.
I have access to clothing, food, and medicine.

I'm sure some people would scoff and call me a "privileged white girl."
I mean, maybe? I don't know. I think their version of "privileged" is more like how you take advantage of the circumstances you're in. If I lived somewhere else, would I be less privileged? Probably.
But the thing is, I can't control the circumstances concerning the life I've been given. Nobody can. That's life. People get so angry at other people for things those people don't even have a choice in. I didn't choose my skin color or my parents' annual income or the country I was born into. 
I can choose how I view the life I have though, and I'm afraid it appears I've chosen pretty poorly lately. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm an asshole or an obnoxious bleeding heart or something. Just someone who compares her life to others too much and feels her life is riddled with holes where she think happiness would be...if she had the life they had.

Comparing your life to others' lives is a sure-fire way to get depressed quickly. It makes you angry at people who have done nothing wrong to you. It makes you angry at yourself for not being someone like them. It just makes you angry and sad and discouraged when you really don't need to be. It's something you can't control. You can't switch lives with them, but you can find contentment in the life you have...even if it's just a little bit. There's always something to be thankful for, even if it's the stupidest thing in the world. 
I know I've said hope is stupid, but the object of that hope isn't always.


I know some people who kind of know me have read at least a few posts. Thanks for taking the time to look at my scribbles haha! Even though none of you leave feedback....*cough*
It's ok. I appreciate you taking time to check it out. :)