Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live

Some days, I just want to scream.
Every time this woman steps into the same room as me, she never fails to find something to criticize. According to her, I'm fat, lazy, and scare children away with my face.
Nothing I do is ever good enough to appease her.
I don't do something that she didn't tell me to do and she yells at me. When I do it without her asking, she scoffs and asks why I didn't do something else as well. I'll never win with her, so I've stopped trying.
She's trying to fix me as if I'm one of her broken "toys" that's not quite working right. She thinks that maybe if she hit me hard enough and long enough, I'll "straighten up." Yeah, right. All I'm doing is bending the other way. I don't want what she wants. I don't want to be like her.
She wants me to be a carbon copy of herself. Never gonna happen. I don't want to be selfish, using guilt and fear to manipulate others to do what I want them to do. I don't want to take advantage of people to get them to do what I'm too lazy to do myself. I don't want to bring others down so I can go higher. I don't want to be anywhere near where who she is now.
If she thinks someone's angry with her, she responds with more anger even if that person wasn't mad at her in the first place. She slams things and sighs heavily to get her point across. She doesn't even realize that she hurts others as well as hurting herself. She wants people to feel sorry for her, because then she knows they'll want to make her "feel better." I don't do that. I don't feel sorry for people who ask for it. I don't pity people who only want everyone's eyes on them and their pitiful state. It's a sick and disgusting way to feel better about yourself.
Lately, she' s realized that maybe she hasn't handled our relationship in the best way. She buys me gifts and takes me special places to try and make it up to me. It doesn't work. The damage is done. Here are some quotes that she's said to me.
"Don' t you have any ambition??"
"Can't you do anything right?"
"Is that you?" (said as she pokes me in the stomach. It wasn't joking.)
"People will see you!" (I wasn't wearing makeup. Heaven forbid!!!)
"They just need to dwindle away to one or two." (talking about my multiple pet cats)
The damage is done. The damage is done. You can't heal scars; you can only try to hide them.
She will be sweet as sugar to your face, but rip you apart like a ravenous piranha behind your back. Not once, but every time she comes in contact with you. In her mind, she knows exactly how you are and that's how you will be to her, even if she's wrong. I feel sorry for her husband. I wonder if he knew what exactly she was like when he married her, or if she was just hiding her true self in order for him to like her better.
I should hate her...but I can't.
She's my mom.
I have to love her, even if it's only for my duty as her child.
Please...don't do this to your children. Please love them always and be the person you want them to be. Don't expect them to be perfect, because you know you aren't either. Please.